How to cook with Nathan

Firstly, notice that one of your humans is standing at the kitchen counter. Assume the begging position;



Stretch up for a closer look:



On realising there are meat based food products mere inches from one's face, commence the assent:



When human attempts to remove you to another room, attempt ascent of human:



Rinse and repeat

Of cats and creatures

No posts from me for a while. There hasn't been much to say about the cats lately, and I've been a bit busy to do a couple of posts that are about wider issues around cat ownership.

All there is to say about the cats is a) they are being very naughty and b) they keep bringing things in.

On Thursday Natalie brought a mouse in for me. It wasn't dead, ran across the room towards me, inducing me to produce a blood-curdling screamm that made Rob think I was being attacked. Oops. But it was a mouse! IN THE HOUSE! She went out with it, but then came back in to play with it in their room, growling extensively at Nathan when he tried to get a paw in.

Then she ate it. Cats are such delights.

This morning, Natalie was on our bed, having a very companionable lie-in when I heard the cat flap going and the familiar "thud thud" of a cat tossing some poor unfortunate creature around. It was Nathan with a bird, and I had foolishly left my bag down there, creating a bird-my handbag interaction. Not impressed.

Natalie and I went down to shoo him out, which made him growl at her and they had a bit of a standoff, which I broke. It was scary though, as I didn't know if he'd go for me, bird and all.

Oh, and as they're on a diet, they've turned into velociraptors. Last night I ate my dinner and they actually did a pincer movement on me (after opening the door!) one going in front of me and my plate, and the other behind. I ended up barricading the door with my handweights to keep them out! Who knows what they'll do next.

Pictures soon...

Cat toys

You know how you buy a kid a present and all it wants to do is play with the box? Yeah, cats are like that too. People laugh at us when they come to our house as there are so many cat toys lying around, unloved and not played with. It's a bit like Toy Story 2.

And then there are the things the cats do like to play with. This ranges from curtain hooks and rolls of sellotape to the night that Nathan chewed up and swallowed a polystyrene packing bead. That was...interesting.

A pen falls from the bed, and two cats are present:

"Mai pen!"
"Really, brother? I think it may be MY pen!"



"MAI PEN!"
"...Well, if you're sure..."



"Iz mai pen. I ritez to hoomins wiv pen. Asks for more foodz. Yes."



(sorry they are so blurry!)

Off the roof

This morning we let the cats out on to the roof again, because it's funny.

Being cats, they didn't do what they did before, oh no.

Natalie set off for the neighbours':



She came back quite promptly, because she's a good girl. Sometimes. (I really don't live in a forest, really.)

They had a good look around, exploring the boundaries:



But what are boundaries to a cat? Note Nathan having a bloody good look over the edge of the roof;



A very good look over the edge:


No, of *course* he won't go over the edge, we thought, and went about our morning business.

Except, he disappeared. He wasn't on our roof, and he wasn't on the neighbour's roof. He wasn't on the floor outside the window (and I was concerned about splattage. Not nice.) Where had he gone?

Feeling a bit worried, I fed Natalie and Nathan would usually run like the clappers at the merest hint there was a human in the kitchen, let alone that cat food was being issued.

But he did not return.

I took the food up to the bedroom and put it on the windowsill.

No cat.
No Nathan.
Where could he be?

I guess the next exercise will be to let them out and then watch from the outside where they go. In a world where it stops raining. But he did come back, crying for his breakfast.

Naughty cat.

Kitchen pests

The cats are on a diet, because they are too fat. I almost wish someone would control my food in a similar way and then maybe my clothes would fit.

Sadly, I am in charge, and eat far too much rubbish, and if I wasn't in control, I'd probably behave a little like the cats do at the moment.

Because they are cats, and have very small brains, they are capable of association but not much else. They understand that kitchen means food, but not much more than that. They come and beg, much like a dog, regardless of what you're doing. Nathan is particularly bad for it, often rushing in from outside on the off-chance he'll get some chicken.

He does this at first, staring up at you:



Then he stretches up, to get a better view. When I took this picture, I was chopping up garlic, surely not his favourite?



(Do you like my slippers?)
We shout "down" at him and he gets down, for about 30 seconds and then he's up again. It's quite sweet, but also a bit dangerous when you don't notice him and I kicked Natalie in the face when she was doing this last week. I felt a bit bad about that.

Sometimes, I accidentally drop or throw them a piece of food just to prove to them that they won't like the melon/carrot/cup of tea that I'm preparing.

It doesn't always work:

I dropped one tortello (of tortellini, I think) which had gorgonzola and walnut in it. Far too strong for a cat, thought I, of course she'll ignore it. Of course she didn't. She gobbled it up!



Natalie is also the cat that does naughty things, but in a very "what, me?" sort of way. Nathan will jump down when you shout. Natalie just looks at you in a "Problem? Keep the noise down, please" kind of way.

Up she jumps, to have an investigate:



(Yeah, our kitchen isn't finished. You stop noticing after a few weeks)
You shout "DOWN!" and she just...carries on...



Anything for food. Greedy gutses.

Up on the roof

We like to think we are considerate cat owners, feeding the cats properly, keeping their litter clean, trying to make sure they don't go out on to the road. Stuff like that.

But more and more, I think that life with two cats is much like life with a toddler. They will seek out danger wherever they can.

It's been warm on and off the last couple of weeks and we've been sleeping with the bedroom window open by varying degrees. One morning it was very hot in our room and so I flung the window open wide before going out to work.

Now, as we have previously seen, the cats quite enjoy sitting on a windowsill looking out, and particularly looking out of the window from our room which is directly opposite a tree where sparrows live. I forgot about this before I went out.

Turns out, the cats were just waiting for their opportunity to explore the other side of this particular window and R managed to get these shots of them checking out some high-rise living:



Natalie's all like, what? Why are you *always* taking pictures of me? Yes, my little feet are sloping away from under me. What's the beef?



It makes you feel great when your cat appears to be assessing whether to make the jump from a first floor roof. Don't do it Natalie!



I got this set of photos through via email at work and when my colleague heard my sharp intake of breath she said, "What's wrong, has someone died?!"

Lepidoptera

The cats don't usually like the bathroom. It probably smells a bit weird and has a strange shiny floor.

But it's summer now, which means that when the light is on in the bathroom, moths cluster at the window, trying to get to the light which they think is the moon.

Cats like catching moths, and Natalie, who is on a diet, likes eating moths.

She'll go to some lengths to get at one.

First, getting into the sink to ease access to the window:



Then exploring what exactly is going on behind that glass:



Are there any here?



Or here?



Here they are! And sadly inaccessible. She gave it her all though:



And what of Nathan? Well, our good little boy just stood sentry:



He also brought me a frog tonight. I wish I could be pleased about that.

Ranidaphobia II

Today it is R's birthday. Happy birthday R!

As we are quite a casual sort of household, R was looking up things on the internet in our bedroom this morning, whilst I watched a Lebanese film downstairs in the living room. Casual, like I say.

I heard a cat come in and do the "mew mew, I'm here" thing that they do. I called out hello and waited for the cat to come in. It didn't, but carried on mewing so I went into the hall to investigate.

What I found HORRIFIED me, and I was extremely relieved she had not come into the living room.

Natalie had come in with a frog, and was proudly proclaiming this wonderful gift she'd brought in.

I think you know the drill:

"Rob, I need you!"
"What is it?"
"She's brought in a frog!"

Weirdly, she wasn't playing with it, just lying sort of curled around it. Rob went off to the get the cat litter shovel and I waited in the living room with the door shut if the frog started having ideas about breathing and leaping and vile things like that.

Rob returned and suggested it was my fault that the cat had brought in a frog, because I had given them ideas about appropriate toys. He held this toy up to the crack in the door that I was looking through.



Seeing an ersatz frog so close to my face sent me into the screaming ab-dabs. I slammed the door, screamed very loudly and ran up and down the living room like someone who really really doesn't like frogs. Damm me buying that toy.

So then R had to get rid of the frog. But, the frog had gone. Where had it gone?! It was dead, wasn't it? No, it wasn't. Remember the cat's kidney problems? And the little cups of water around the house?

Yep, the frog had jumped into one of the water bowls.



OMG!

This little dive into water had apparently refreshed it, and it jumped into Natalie's face, scaring her into running away from her prize. Stupid cat.

Rob managed to get it back into the cup and then I had to be really brave and leave the living room to open the back door to let Rob dispose of the frog in the garden. After last time with the spade, I made sure he had his hand very firmly over the cup before exiting and helping him outside.

The cats are banned from the main part of the house for the rest of the day.

Happy birthday Rob!

Me and my girl

Natalie has a bit of a little routine. In the mornings she gets fed. She goes outside to do her abulutions and then she comes back in. If she's in the mood, she'll get on our bed and have a little snooze with whoever is lucky enough to have a lie in. Sometimes, she just goes out to play all day.

At some point during the day, both of them with come in "talking" to us. I'm not sure how to describe the cry - it's more of a cry than a mew, but we generally respond with "hello!". If one of us is upstairs and calls them, they come up to see us there. It's sweet. (Nathan is doing it to me now, sounding a bit distressed. But I don't speak cat, and he doesn't speak English so I'll just carry on.)

Natalie likes to come in and cuddle up with me. I like to watch television in the living room with my feet up, usually with a blanket over me as it gets a bit cold in here.

She starts off curled up next to my legs:



She might check out what's on the telly:



Or just have a stretch:



And if I'm really lucky, I'll be invited to rub her tummy:



Hard life, being a cat.

Update

There's a couple of things I think it would be useful to note today.

The first is Nathan's health and how his rodent ulcers are going. Towards the end of May, his top lip began to swell and a scab came up. As we were going away, and wouldn't be in a position to take him to the vet for a biopsy if it did come up badly, we decided to give him some steroids to bring it down. We had a catsitter who was also able to pill him and we gave him a low dose. In the middle of reducing the dose he did his disappearing act so we couldn't complete the reduction but he didn't seem to have any ill-effect.

Since then, he's been absolutely fine. We've been very firm on not giving him any food other than the hypoallergenic stuff and really made sure that the flea control is done properly and in a timely fashion. I'm glad he's OK for now.

The second thing to update is both of their kidneys! After the visit to the vet a couple of weeks ago, we went out and got them some high quality wet food. Although we wonder if part of Nathan's allergy was caused by flea bites, I also think that some cat food has so much "stuff" in it that it may also be the trigger for the ulcers. We need to give them wet food to bring down the concentration of their urine (nice, I know) and to encourage them to take more fluid on board. This food has only got meat, rice and water in it and nothing else so it shouldn't cause Nathan any problems.

It's working out pretty good as they both love it, particularly Nathan. On Friday morning I was preparing it and he sprayed on the kitchen floor, which wasn't very nice. So now I keep them behind a door while I'm getting it ready (adding water and forking it apart).



I'll try to get a shot of them standing up against the glass and mewing. It's very pitiful. And silly, because of course I'm about to give them the food!

And finally, was that they were being overfed and Natalie in particularly needed to lose some weight. The vet said if there was a scale of cat weight thus:

0 = malnourished feral cat ---------5 = perfect weight ---------9 = morbidly obese

Nathan is a 6 and Natalie an 8. So, she needed to lose some chub! She really didn't like the reduction in food at first, she got really quite intense and odd while she was in the house and in her interactions with us. I was concerned that it would lead to them being competitive over food. Nathan eats very quickly and tends to finish his then start on hers. But she comes in for extra food, and I try to make sure it's done fairly when I have time to stand over them and remove Nathan when she's only half way through and he's finished his. I think she's beginning to look a bit trimmer and I hope gradually she'll be as sleek as Nathan. I will miss her fatness though, Nathan is so boney, stroking him doesn't feel quite so nice.

Bringing things in...

Today I was sitting in the living room, having the first Saturday at home for a while when I heard a strange rustling. A very strange rustling. The only thing it could be was the cats. investigating or as I like to call it, up to no good.

Off I went to investigate myself and I found them doing this:



Same photo, more or less as the last post. That's my umbrella and my bike bag/pannier and cable lock next to them. I wondered what could be so interesting about my umbrella.

Nothing was interesting about my umbrella, there was something *in* the umbrella, most likely put there by the naughty cats.

"R, I need you"
"Why?"
"The cats have brought something in. What if it's another frog??!!"

R came down to investigate and attempt to reduce my rising panic. Natalie ran away, a little, but Nathan was not giving up whatever the umbrella contained:



I made him going away, using the tool used by cat owners everywhere. My foot.

R shook out the umbrella - what do you think it was? Another frog? A bird? A mouse?

Natalie was delighted by the easy access this offered:



It was none of the above. It was a butterfly. Now, butterflies are EXTRAORDINARILY precious and the fact that the cats had caught one, brought it in and were basically torturing it was very upsetting. We kept them away and it crawled up the side of the stairs off the carpet. We decided that, although its wings were a bit mangled, we'd take it out of the house. Here's a shot:



Those bright colours are suggesting to me that it doesn't taste of chicken. Cats are so thick.
At first, I thought it was a red admiral but it wasn't and I have no idea how to identify it.

So, we took it outside and returned to our Saturday morning activities.

Shortly afterwards, I heard the rustling again. The little buggers had got it back in!

We rescued it again, even more mangled, but clinging on to life. Poor poor butterfly! I gave it some sugar solution but its wings are so damaged, I don't think there's much hope. I can't bring myself to put it out of its misery but at least it's not being tortured any more.

Here's a little pic of it:


Cats will be cats, but I don't always have to be pleased about it. And if they'd just bring in a mouse, I'd be quite pleased.

Ranidaphobia

I don't recommend reading this post if you are of a nervous disposition.

Every now and again, the cats do something that looks a bit like this:


You and I might call that investigating. And when they are doing this, very little good can come of it.

Earlier this week, I was going from my bedroom to the bathroom to brush my teeth. It was quite late at night and the cats had been in for about an hour. During this two foot journey, I looked down at the foot of the stairs and noticed the cats investigating something. At first, I thought it was one of their catnip mice. But they're bored of them, what was it that was fascinating them so much?

It seemed to have a long tail, like a mouse - perhaps they'd finally caught one of the mice we hear scratching about in the walls every night?

Then I noticed it had two long bits. Like legs. Legs with two knees.

IT WAS A FROG.

Now, we must digress for a moment to explain about me and frogs. As a child, there were neighbours who had ponds in their gardens, and in these gardens resided frogs. And as we all know, frogs feel the need to have HUNDREDS of children. Known as froglets when they stop being tadpoles. And these froglets must leave the parent pond and go forth in to the world, only returning to create more evil spawn. So our garden became something of a froglet highway. There they'd be, night after night, hopping erratically across our garden. One of our friends once picked up a frog and brought it into our house and it leaped at me. A FROG LEAPED AT ME. This is not allowed. And ever since then, I cannot have a frog anywhere near me. I don't like looking at pictures of them, I don't think they're cute and I definitely do not want a frog anywhere near me where possible (strangely "foreign" frogs are fine, and I do think poison arrow frogs are quite sweet, being all blue and orange. In the zoo. Behind glass.).

So, let's go back to that evening, where the cats were investigating a frog. IN MY HOUSE.

I called out, "R, I need you". I must've sounded quite frantic as he appeared straightaway.

"What is it?"

"The cats have a FROG! Do something!" (there was swearing, but this is a family show)

I stood at the top of the stairs, wringing my hands like someone who doesn't want frogs in her house. R got the catlitter spade and scooped the frog up. On closer examination, it proved to be alive.

There was a LIVE frog in the house. Dead frogs are one thing, but one that's breathing? Breathing frogs JUMP. This was just getting worse!

Then I had to go and help by corraling the cats away from the back door so R could flick it into the garden. He explained what he wanted me to do, by gesticulating with the spade. The spade with a frog on the end of it.

There was more swearing. Finally it was over.

We then debriefed the incident with me explaining not to stick spades with frogs on the end of them in my face as I will scream and do swearing. R understood. We also mulled over how a frog appeared in the house, an hour after the cats had last been outside.

I realised they must have brought the frog in earlier in the day, it had hidden somewhere, then revealed itself for further playtime. Naturally, the thought made me feel sick. What if there were more frogs in the house? What if every nook and cranny was hiding a traumatised frog? It was enough to make me want a very long hot shower and a flamethrower.

R calmed me down, but the cats are now excluded from the house when we're not in. That hasn't stopped them though...

Lying down Nathan

He likes to lie down here:



Here:



And here is his most favourite place. I think he thinks he's a guard dog (this is the front door)



He looks a bit eldiablokitty in that one. But we've been getting on very well lately and I've started picking him up and carrying him around a bit. He's so lovely, he got scared earlier when I was carrying him and managed to paw me in the neck but kept his claws sheathed. It's the little things that help! Claws in the neck...no thanks!

Slightly Poorly Cats

I've noticed a couple of times over the last little while that the litter has had a bit of a pinkish tinge to it in the morning. I wasn't really sure what to make of it, but then, luckily, I read this post, as tweeted via @VitalPetHealth on Twitter.

So I booked them in with the vet. I was a little concerned that I was over-reacting, and would go down as a bit of a weirdo, having taken Nathan in with a burgeoning rodent ulcer to be told in no uncertain terms that he was fine and medicating him was unnecessary.

I kept them this morning as the appointment was in the afternoon and they're hard to get in unless they really want to, or they're hungry.

It's been a tough day. Nathan sat by the back door for about two hours, just mournfully staring at the handle. Then he came into the living room where I was watching telly and did this:



I really do think it looks like he's trying to figure out how to open the window! (We don't actually live in a forest, btw.)

I went out for a while and they were sleeping when I got back. That didn't last long, as then they both came in and started looking mournfully out of the window:



They're both looking at me in that photo, but trust me, there was some longing staring going on!

I really hoped there was nothing wrong, but I know that kidney problems can get very nasty in cats, and we can afford to pay for the peace of mind.

We both really like the vet and thankfully we didn't have to wait too long. Last time we waited about 40 minutes and there was a big dog in the waiting room scaring Nathan to death. There were some seriously sweaty paws during that visit.

So in we went, and explained the problem. The vet explained that female cats get cystitis, which hurts but doesn't cause too many problems. Male cats get blockages, I think that was crystals. Google will tell you. He could feel their bladders and explained that the way to check if there was anything wrong was to take a sample of urine. From their bladders. WITH A NEEDLE.

I was a bit taken aback and was wondering about general anaesthetics and things. But, it's brisk business, this vet lark, so in came a nurse and he took urine from both of their bladders, easy as pie! I know if someone stuck a needle in my bladder you'd know about it in Shanghai, but they were both beautifully behaved, although good old Natalie got her leg up to make it difficult. That's my girl.

Turns out both of them have highly concentrated urine, and Nathan's contained blood. So I'm very glad that I do cast an eye over the litter as I change it, and that they do use it at home. Phew. He's on the cusp of an infection, and she's pretty close too, so we've got to try to get as much fluid into them as possible. They are not drinking enough for their body mass, which means their bladders fill with highly concentrated urine which causes problems. The dry food makes it worse as it doesn't contain any fluid which would help with their moisture intake. The vet said it was quite unusual to see cats before the infection kicks in, so I'm pretty pleased with myself for spotting it. I may be a bit neurotic, but it pays off eventually!

There is an element of an intersection of problems as we now have a few things to manage to help them. We had been feeding them wet food, but due to Nathan's rodent ulcers, were sticking to hypoallergenic dry food only. Another problem just feeding them dry food is that it's making them fat. But as we have two, we try to give them free access as it avoids competition. Nathan eats a lot faster than Natalie, so she'll lose weight regardless! I just hope we can manage it so that they lose weight, don't get bladder infections, don't get competitive over food and his face doesn't flare up. Not too much of a challenge!

Here's Natalie with the article that prompted me to take action while I was writing this post. She's already hungry.

Rain rain go away

This is Natalie after a hard day's exploring out in the rain. It's not terrible dramatic, I know, but she's rather spiky around the edges. Nathan is really not a fan of the rain and quite happily comes back into the house to dry himself against my legs and then settle down for a nap.

Natalie however will stay out in it for hours and come in absolutely dripping wet, and then also proceeds to dry herself against my legs. It's not nice at all when said legs are bare. But I'm glad she's as intrepid as I think she is.

Cats that beg

Nathan has become a dog!

He's started begging for food. Well, he's a cat, so it's not begging so much as making numerous bids for your plate. Yesterday I had some leftovers on my plate, and I'd eaten on the sofa, so just put the plate to one side while I finished watching a film. I had to physically stop him getting at plate twice and it was just a pizza crust! Nothing terribly yummy for a cat, I don't think.

He comes and sits on the floor, staring at the food. Then jumps up and climbs across to have a good sniff, investigate and sometimes a cheeky bite. He only seems to do this when there's just one of us eating. Interesting.

This was the scene earlier today:



Sorry it's a bit blurry.

At one point they were both doing it which is REALLY freaky.

Nathan is the best at hiding

Every now and again, we want to put the cats "to bed" (shut them in their room) and we can't find Nathan.

The first time this happened, I was on my own in the house and I just couldn't find him. My usually greedy cat was not even responding to the food container being rattled. I eventually found him tucked down the back of the desk in R's study. I got the feeling he quite enjoyed defying my attempts to get him to their room. Not really of course, he's just a cat!

The last time this happened, we knew he was in the house and R was tasked with putting them to bed. He looked and looked and looked and just couldn't find him. I was in bed, and eventually got up, went to his favourite spot, and found him tucked into an unused rucksack.

Cats are HILARIOUS!

That's not how we do things!

I had to get up super early this morning, to go to a conference. R my partner is away and the cats were just SO CONFUSED at having to get up so early.

They were awake, but Nathan just stood on top of the cat tree for ages with a somewhat bewildered expression on his face. It made me laugh quite a lot. I suppose it doesn't sound like much, but he's usually straight out of the door with no time for greetings or any such nonsense.

Last night I got them in a bit early which they didn't really like one bit. They were bored, so chased each other around the house a lot, and of course, Nathan got in the piano. We'll have to get a cover for it or something. I don't get why they keep going in there, it doesn't change!

Our little activist

I'm a community activist, and it looks like Natalie is following in my footsteps in her own feline way:



No cutting the grass today!

She ran off as soon as I got the shot, but it did make me laugh. The idea of her taking a stand against the lawnmower!

I've got them in two hours ahead of usual schedule, so waiting to see if they go completely stir-crazy. Time will tell.